It’s December! Let the the build-up to Christmas begin! I know in parts of the world it has already begun with Christmas lights twinkling in London since the start of November and Christmas markets already open across Europe, but around where I live there is little sign of Christmas before December. And I must say I do kind of like it like this. When I saw the admittedly stunning festive decorations in Galeries Lafayette in Paris in late October it just felt wrong. This is partly related to the fact that I’d been wearing shorts and sandals until only days before as the weather in the south stays warm throughout October and therefore just isn’t conducive to festive thoughts, but also in part to my dislike of how commercial Christmas has become in general.
But don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all bah humbug about Christmas, I love it and the build up, I just don’t think it should start too early. Some of the things I love are carol singing and carol concerts. Christmas markets, mulled wine, mince pies and hot chestnuts. The rounds of Christmas parties, pantomimes, seasonal ballets like the Nutcracker and even the ever more ridiculous school Nativity plays. Out of all of these France does markets, chestnuts and vin chaud very well and if you’re lucky you might find a performance of Casse Noisette (Nutcracker), but there is no tradition of panto, carols or Nativity plays and certainly no mince pies! And despite having lived all over the world and for 17 years in France, these are things I miss and still hanker after at Christmas.
Christmas in France has always seemed to me to be a more low key, traditional family affair than in England. The build-up just isn’t as full-on. Let’s take schools for example. As French state schools are by law secular there is absolutely no form of Nativity play, not even with penguins, cowboys, trees and other extras that English schools add in to get around this! Your child’s class might put on some form of show but it will have nothing to do with Christmas, perhaps a multicultural dance performance as seen in the photo of my son below. There is usually a special meal somewhere towards the end of term billed as a Christmas meal but it is different every year as apart from bûche de nöel there isn’t really a “traditional” Christmas meal like there is in England. Obviously many families create their own traditions and it is usual to eat certain things at Christmas like oysters, smoked salmon and foie gras, but there just isn’t the same emphasis on the “traditional” roast turkey with all the trimmings. And before I digress completely into food, another huge difference for me is that owing to how little parents are involved at school sometimes schools put on shows just for themselves without inviting parents to watch.
Carols are an integral part of the Christmas experience for me and I’ve tried to pass some of my love for them on to my sons, but it hasn’t been easy. They recognise most tunes now as I blast them out every year while decorating the tree and throughout much of the festive season but they don’t know the words and couldn’t really care less. Carols barely exist in France and the tradition of carol singing from door to door or in village squares is unheard of. Luckily for me living in such an international area with a high presence of Brits there are usually one or two carol concerts on in December which I try to get to.
France doesn’t really have the dreaded wonderful office Christmas party that is such a part of British working life in December. This is mainly because professional and social lives are much more separate in French culture than Anglosaxon and it’s not so common to socialise with your colleagues, and if anything is to be celebrated within work it’s more often the new year than Christmas. (I touched on this here). But it’s not just office parties that are missing in December, it’s parties in general. Amongst my French friends and family there is really very little difference in the social scene in December from any other time of year. There aren’t the manic rounds of Christmas drinks that mark the build up to the big event in England, but this is where the expat community comes into its own. Everywhere I’ve lived there have been plenty of just such parties held by foreigners clinging to their home traditions which has meant that over the years I’ve been to Swedish, Dutch, German, Icelandic and Czech celebrations to name a few as well as plenty of British parties! In fact back in 1994 in a bid to feel “christmassy” my flatmate and I held a Christmas drinks party in Hanoi, serving mulled wine, which JF and I have carried on every year except one, I think, since then. Our “vin chaud” party has become quite a tradition with friends coming from as far as London, Geneva and Paris to get into the Christmas spirit with us.
One of best ways we as a family get into Christmas in the south of France in December is to visit the varied and wonderful Christmas markets in the region. Most towns in the area have one, whether just for a day, weekend, or several weeks. It’s unlikely to be snowy or even very cold but that doesn’t stop the festive atmosphere when the smells of cinnamon, spice and roasted chestnuts fill the air. We haven’t been to them all by any means but some of our favourites are Nice for a ride on the big wheel, Le Rouret for its traditional theme, Monaco to skate on the harbour amongst the superyachts and Valbonne for its original entertainment (often light shows). For a fairly comprehensive list of all the markets and their dates in the Alpes Maritimes click here. Another gorgeously atmospheric and unique way to find the Christmas feeling is to visit the hilltop village of Lucéram which is decked out with over 400 crèches from now until Epiphany, the 6th of January. As an antidote to the excesses of commercial Christmas this stands in first place. There’s nothing for sale, nothing to spend your money on, just miniature displays of village life and Nativity scenes made with traditional Provencal santons wherever you look. On a bright sunny winter’s day it’s a magical experience. For more details take a look at the piece I wrote on Lucéram, the Christmas village.
Over to you. When do you like Christmas to start? If you’re living or have lived out of your home culture what traditions do or did you miss?
It sounds like you’ve made a great multicultural mix of your Christmas in Milan and I love the idea of that hot chocolate. Living near Italy myself (less than an hour) the shops are full of panettone at this time of year here and I absolutely love it!
Aw thank you! Stay in touch and come on over next year!!
I agree that the people you’re with make Christmas special. And I agree also that much of the build up in UK has become ugly. I think that’s where being an expat can be good as you take the best of all the traditions you know and make a unique celebration that works for you.
I am not religious at all but I do miss a good carol concert. Friends live in a village nearby with a high UK expat community so there is usually one there and apparently the protestant church in Condé has one this weekend. Tom took part in a saxophone Christmas concert last weekend and included a few carols. Silent Night had pretty much the same words just translated into French but others had totally different words and one is driving me mad trying to think what the English words are! And for Jingle Bells they sing Vive le Vent with absolutely no mention of sleigh rides!
Baby’s first Christmas is always very special, I hope you have a fabulous time Milly, thanks for commenting here.
That’s funny you don’t get the panto tradition! I wonder if your British kids like it?
Another mince pie lover! Thanks for hosting the link up Chantelle
I love the sound of the panto on Christmas Eve, very festive.
Thanks for telling us about Poland Agata.
How amazing Catherine
Girl after my heart, Kara 🙂
ha ha, love your comment Stephen!
What an interesting post! Here in Milan it all kick off officially on December 7th, after Sant’Ambrogio (Milan’s patron saint’s day). When we lived in the UK I couldn’t bear the craziness that seemed to go on forever, to the point you were sick of it before it’d even arrived. But I have to say, December 7th is a bit late! I cracked and started decorating on the 1st instead 🙂
I do love it here though, once the season has properly started. I miss mince pies and carols too, but many of Italy’s traditions I wouldn’t be without anymore: panettone, REALLY thick hot chocolate, more of a focus on family just like in France.
Lovely post with some very interesting insights. I also agree that it just stinks of commercialism when it starts as early as November. It sounds like you have a lovely life in France. After reading your post I wanted to attend your vin chaud party! Looking forward to reading more of your stories x
Love to read about a French Christmas. We love our family traditions but are quite happy to be away from the British Christmas these days. It could be so special but has been rather ruined for us by the months of hype, commercialism and shopping scrums.
Some of our happiest Christmases were in the UK but I truly think it does not matter where you are it is who you are with. In Kazakhstan we were guaranteed a white Christmas but we are looking forward to our tropical celebration this year.
Great to hear the French take on Christmas. As a British expat in the Netherlands I manage to sneak in double ‘christmas’: the Dutch Sinterklaas celebration on December 5th, followed by the classic Santa Claus on December 25th. We usually head to the UK for the second with family because, frankly, I don’t think you can beat a British Christmas if you’re lucky enough to have a big family: the food, games, presents, festivities, half-hearted wine-fuelled, post-lunch walk. And this year we have our new baby with us for the first time. She won’t understand a single thing that’s going on but it adds a totally new dimension – seeing Christmas through someone else’s eyes for the first time.
Have a lovely festive season.
#MyExpatFamily
I agree, I don’t like it starting so early. I think *THINK* it starts earlier in Britain because in the States we have Thanksgiving which is a really important holiday so Christmas plays second fiddle to Thanksgiving until that’s over. Then it’s Black Friday which has actually come to Britain – although many people still have no idea where it comes from! The one thing about Christmas in Britain which I still have not yet embraced is the Christmas panto. I just don’t get it!!! Christmas in France looks beautiful.
Great post Phoebe!! I have to say the way expats come together to make Christmas traditions like Christmas drinks etc is one of the biggest things I love about being an expat. It makes everything so special and has more of a community spirit than I ever felt living in the UK!!
The Christmas markets sound fabulous and oooooo do I ever hanker for a mince pie!!!!
He is a reluctant thespian at the best if times so was perfectly happy to be a door!
We try not to get too caught up in the commercial side of things. Living in North East England a visit to Fenwicks shop window in Newcastle is a must. We go to a matinee panto on Christmas Eve and that is when I really feel festive!
In Poland we celebrate main event on 24th… in UK it is a normal working day, when nothing special really happens – I miss all the fuss which comes with Christmas Eve in Polish tradition
No phoebe it wasn’t England where I went to the dentist. It was Czechoslovakia in hard communist times when officials like dentists were not allowed to celebrate. However Czech carols were sung and carp was eaten and Christmas was celebrated in an underground sort of way. It’s all change now which is wonderful.
What an amazing christmas tree! I don’t like anything christmassy before 1st december and our tree goes up second weekend of december
I detest Christmas Shopping and avoid it for as long as I can. I can never quite understand why people feel the need to rush about in and out of shops.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Michele. Christmas in the tropics is very odd I agree. I bet you’ll have a huge celebration this year back home in USA!
You’re totally right that there isn’t a translation for “Christmas spirit”, I hadn’t thought of that, and it does pretty much indicate just how unchristmassy France can be. We have to make our own traditions and that’s fun, combining the best of our multicultural heritages.
Christmas is definitely a bitter sweet time for many expats, I hope you have a happy one this year Sylvia.
That sounds lovely,thanks for commenting.
Or vin chaud in France…it’s the same thing 🙂
Great to have your input Sally, and tohearfrom an Aussie. Those canapés really were the best weren’t they?
I don’t think I’d like the streets in London at Chritmas anymore either Rachel. I used to love it when I was younger but I’m out of practice with crowded shopping now!
Good to hear from you Jen, I’m not alone in not having a tree up yet then.
Prague is a perfect place for Christmas, I spent severtal Christmases there and have excellent memories.
That sounds like a fun way to celebrate. It can’t have been in England I’m sure no dentist would see you on Christmas day…
Thanks VaiChin
Hopefully your son is pretty young Laura! The build-up is such fun when you’re a kid.
Thank you Richard for so subtely pointing out to me that yet again I’ve chosen the wrong form of bare bear…I don’t know why I can’t remember the rules here, but luckily I’ve got you to put me straight (though usually in a slightly more discrete manner).
It’s so reassuring to learn that “carols bearly exist in France”. A sort of Teddy Bears’ Picnic in the snow, attended presumably by the polar variety? But I absolutely agree; we don’t want to start that sort of thing too early!
I agree – Christmas starts too early in the UK. My son thinks that it’s already Christmas and that’s a bit wrong! Interesting to hear how different it is in France.
I love for Christmas to start end November-December. That first photo is just stunning!
Has anybody else been to the dentist on Christmas Day?
I love that first photo ! I do love Christmas markets and visited Prague last year which was lovely
I love Christmas markets and learning about culture in other countries. No tree up here yet. Christmas is ALL about family for me
Living in London, the high street is not my favourite, all that hustle and bustle is just not for me. That said I do love the food!
Mmmm. How interesting to read everyone’s experiences of Christmas! As an Australian, I expect it to be sunny and hot and the food in my family has always been a cold buffet where everyone brings their signature salad – and there are (good natured) questions asked if they vary. LOVE singing Christmas carols. I am a church goer anyway, but I’ve actually banned myself from my own church on Christimas Eve because they sing too fast 🙂 :). Was at the Christmas in Hanoi with Ruth and Phoebe, and I think it is was one of my most memorable as well. Starting with high & structured canapes, to reflect our artistic obsessions with structural realism. I spent a couple of Christmases working in the north of Japan. I was allowed to take the day off because I was foreign, otherwise it was a normal working day.
No pantos?! No carols?! Wow, I’d miss that. Would happily pop over to Germany for a bit of Gluhwein though 🙂
We just put our tree up today and spend time crafting and baking over the next few weeks. i try not to get too caught up in the commercial side ofthings.
Christmas time is always somehow a very sad time for me. I’m far from home and ridiculously expensive tickets are stopping me from going home for Christmas. But I remember everything from when I was at home. I loved huge amount of snow, beautiful Christmas trees, carol singers knocking on your door and most important thing – family 🙂
I agree with you totally. My first Christmas living in France, in 1991, was a dismal affair. France was even less “into” Christmas decorations than now! And there is just no translation for “Christmas spirit!”
Maybe some of this is good, as I hear so much from my friends in the States about Christmas being so frantic.
Mainly I have been able to recreate some of the Christmas spirit with my family, but I never really feel a change in things at work or otherwise, although we do have a little holiday lunch potluck.
I think have mistakenly lumped France in with England and Germany and imagined that they had a big Christmas season like those other two countries do. After reading this, I stand corrected.
As an American, I always look at the day after Thanksgiving (4th Thursday in November) as being the official kickoff of the Christmas season. Although American stores will start putting Christmas stuff out after Halloween, I refuse to buy any of it until after Thanksgiving is over. Living in Malaysia, Christmas seemed all wrong. First of all, there’s no Thanksgiving to signal the time when I can finally release my urge to shop. With Christians making up just a small percentage of the population, Christmas definitely comes across as merely a retail opportunity than a religious holiday. I joke that “it’s not even Christmas, and the Chinese New Year banners are already up.” There’s no big tradition like caroling or Christmas markets. Traditional Christmas foods are either hard to come by in Penang or else ridiculously expensive at the expat grocery store. Hotels and some fancy restaurants put on a Christmas buffet, and the expat Westerners do bond together to make some sort of communal celebration. Furthermore, it’s so bloody hot and humid that it simply doesn’t feel Christmassy. I do wonder what the Australians in Malaysia think since December is their summer, so perhaps it’s less strange. As far as your French schools putting on shows without inviting parents — What??!! I’d be so sad if I didn’t attend.
20 years ago this Christmas Ruth…that really was one of the best ever I agree, such great memories. 🙂
I remember phoning home to the UK from Singapore (shortly before we “decanted” – as he put it – to my boss’ swimming pool) and hearing background conversations along the lines of “Gran, did you put the forcemeat in the turkey?” that made me incredibly nostalgic, but I’d only arrived in Singapore a week or so previously and knew no-one. Other expat Christmases were so much fun – the most memorable being held at the house of – ahem! – the current British Ambassador to Vietnam!
Wow Liz, the stories you could tell about Christmas must be amazing and even though I’m not a Christian myself I can imagine that Christmas in Israel must be very special. Thanks for sharing so much here.
London and Yorkshire are different countries (not counties) aren’t they! I’m sure Yorkshire folk would say they are. 😉
I’ve lived in a fair few countries over the past 18 years and have often spent Christmas abroad: Ivory Coast 1999: I experienced my first coup d’état, husband was in Togo and I had a toddler and a baby at the time: a Christmas I will never forget! Benin 2001 and 2004, Christmas is always weird spent in hot countries! It all seems so fake, I’m not in to it all! Without sounding racist (and Phoebe you know me; I’m far from), an African Father Christmas just doesn’t seem right! Boxing Day on the beach with a bbq was always fun though. 2005, 2006, 2008: Israel. Best ever Christmases, Midnight Mass in Bethlehem, THE place to be (three times) how lucky were we? Amazing experiences. The next few years were spent in the UK and France. Last year (we’re now living in China) Christmas was spent in Thailand; once again, didn”t feel right being at the beach and in the pool on Christmas day; no midnight mass either which was a no no. This year was off to Spain, so I’m hoping a Spanish midnight mass is on the cards!
Now that’s pretty radical thinking “against the law to put up decorations before 1st December”! Haha!! 😉
It’s fascinating Kate, I love all the differences we have.
I’m glad I’m not alone in wanting to wait till December Linda. The first photo is from Galeries Lafayette in Paris and it really was amazing…just tooo early.
I think that’s the funniest part in a Nativity yet Corinna…a door! What does he think about his role? That is so silly it made me laugh out loud! I’d love to go to carols in York Minster, that must be quite something.
What a wonderful insight into Christmas in another country which is so near but seems so far away in cultural terms. And I though things were very different at Christmas between London and Yorkshire!
I’m with you – I love Christmas and everything about it but I wish it would start later. It should be against the law to put decorations up before 1st December!
I would love to experience Christmas in another culture!
Definitely not before 1st December! My eldest childs birthday is the 7th of December and when she lived at home we used to wait until after her birthday cards had been displayed for a week before even thinking about Christmas decorations. I love that glorious display in your first picture. I guess the bigger the displays and the more expensive they are, the earlier they go up in order to feel they have had the value of both time and money.
Without wanting to sound miserable, I would happily miss the tacky lights, music and shopping scrum that is the UK high street. However, carols in the splendour of York Minster, in our local market square and even in a cold and damp park are all high lights. Despite being in the UK there is just one Christmas lunch where I work. Relieved to only have one out of three children in a school nativity this year, and the poor chap is a door!!!